Self-control – what is it and how can you develop it?

Greetings, friends!

Good self-control is considered one of the most important character traits of successful people. It allows you to maintain emotional stability in difficult situations and always act with purely common sense. Today we will analyze in detail what this ability is, what advantages it gives and how to develop self-control to people whom nature has not endowed with this talent.

What is self-control

Self-control is the ability to remain calm and composure in difficult or emotionally intense situations, always acting judiciously and making deliberate decisions. A person with developed self-control is able to maintain clarity of mind, a firm hand, speed of reaction, prudence and emotional stability in all circumstances. And in any difficult or critical situation, this gives serious advantages.

Most often, self-control is expressed in such features of behavior as:

  • patience and endurance (the ability to endure inconveniences, to cope with difficulties with dignity);
  • abstinence (the ability to give up “quick pleasures” in favor of really important goals );
  • equanimity (maintaining a calm and balanced state in all circumstances);
  • perseverance and self-discipline (loyalty to one’s principles, dedication, the ability to keep one’s word at any cost).

In addition, self-control is directly related to with confidence in the decisions made. For example, if a person decided to act in a certain way, but under the influence of dramatically changing circumstances, he quickly began to doubt the correctness of what was done – this indicates a loss of self-control.

People with developed self-control constantly control their behavior, movements, voice and manner of speech. They are not characterized by unconscious actions and impulsive actions. They know what they want, understand their goals well and see the direction in which they should move right now. And no external circumstances can lead them astray or spoil their mood.

What gives a person self-control?

The most important advantage that a person can provide good composure is the ability to act deliberately and judiciously under all circumstances. Most people in shock tend to act impulsively and make a lot of mistakes. As a result, instead of improving their situation, they only aggravate it with wrong actions and erroneous decisions.

Self-control allows you to avoid wrong actions by acting judiciously even in the most difficult circumstances – just when it is most needed Total. A person with good self-control does not panic and does not allow panic in his team.

In addition, self-control gives such advantages as:

  1. Full control over your life. If a person always remains calm and acts, guided solely by logic and common sense, but not emotions, no external circumstances can confuse it from the chosen path.
  2. High personal effectiveness. A person who does not allow emotions to control him, always uses his time rationally and effectively. While working, he is completely focused on the current task and is not distracted by anything else.
  3. High level of motivation. Such a person is nothing can distract from the goal, he always knows what he is striving for, and consistently performs all the tasks set for himself. He does not need the inspiring speeches of various “success trainers”, he knows without them what activity is preferable at the moment.
  4. Resistant to conflicts. When a conflict situation matures, self-control allows you to restrain emotions and not go to meaningless confrontation.
  5. Rational behavior in extreme situations. Most people, finding themselves in an extreme situation, begin to panic, taking spontaneous actions and making a lot of mistakes. Self-control allows you to first assess the situation sensibly, and only then decide on the most meaningful actions.
  6. The ability to cope with difficulties. Faced with adversity , difficulties and trials, people perceive them quite emotionally, sometimes they even begin to feel sorry for themselves. Self-control helps to endure any trials without wasting emotional energy on suffering and self-pity.

How to develop self-control?

Many people think that the ability to remain calm is a gift that is not given to everyone by nature. In reality, it is quite possible to develop it independently and even achieve very significant success in this. Here are some effective techniques that can help you do this.

1. Find your problem areas

First, analyze your life and remember the situations in which you were unable to remain calm when it was necessary. This will reveal the most problematic areas – these are the places where you should start working on yourself.

You may not be able to resist the temptation to buy a delicious cake or a bottle of beer, or you may not be able to refuse an online game that takes away prohibitively long. Remember also the last conflict with a loved one – did you manage to contain your emotions well and not say too much?

2. Work on your emotions

Separately, you need to think about the emotions and experiences that you find it difficult to control. Perhaps a situation at work that you observe every day makes you resentful and resentful. Think about it well and try to understand why it has such a powerful effect on you. of them. Think about how to get rid of uncontrollable experiences. Putting them all on the shelves will make them much easier to deal with.

3. Remind yourself that only you are in control of your life

This is a very important point. Most people tend to shift the blame for their mistakes to external circumstances. When trouble occurs, they get upset and begin to feel sorry for themselves, believing that life is unfair to them.

If a person knows that all the circumstances of his life are the result of his own decisions and actions, it is much easier for him control yourself in difficult situations. Even if there is a trouble, he knows that right now everything depends only on him and on his actions. And this helps him maintain composure.

To increase the sense of responsibility for his life, you can mentally repeat specially selected affirmations. To do this, you can use that by which phrases:

  • “I am the master of my life”;
  • “My whole life depends only on me”;
  • “I completely control myself and my emotions”;
  • “My capacity for self-control is growing every day”;
  • “Feeling in control of my life gives me pleasure.” .

Using these simple attitudes, you can significantly accelerate your progress in developing self-control.

4. Play successful scenarios in your head

Sometimes it is helpful to imagine a typical situation in which you used to be weak-willed and unable to stay calm. Imagine different variations of those events and think about how it would be correct to react in each case. Think carefully about your impulsive response and explain to yourself why it was not constructive. This is quite an effective exercise, as it will help you to orient yourself faster and maintain your composure when you find yourself in a similar situation next time.

From theory to practice

If you if you want to start actively working right now to develop self-control, reduce stress in life, clear your mind and reboot your mind, I advise you the Brain Detoxification course from Wikium, which will help you:

  1. Focus on what’s important.
  2. Reduce stress and anxiety.
  3. Improve the quality of sleep and rest.
  4. Reduce distraction.
  5. Get rid of toxic thoughts.

Training consists of 10 lessons and practical tasks. You will receive tools and exercises, as well as video and audio. Upon completion of the course, they will give valuable advice on independent practice.


Self-control is a very useful ability that allows a person to be more effective in difficult situations. Whatever happens, such a person reacts calmly and adequately, maintaining his dignity and not showing his weaknesses. If this ability is not given to you by nature, this is not a reason to despair, because it is quite possible to develop self-control. And you can do this using the simple techniques that we covered today.