Greetings, friends!
Each of us at least once in our life thought about how to get rid of complexes, because they prevent us from realizing our desires and living a full life. Because of them, we refuse many benefits, believing that we are not worthy of them, and do not take on risky tasks, fearing that we will not cope. Today we will talk about how to get rid of complexes and abandon these senseless restrictions. First, let’s understand the nature of this phenomenon.
What are complexes?
Complex Is a formed set of distortions present in a person’s perception of himself. The term “complex” was first used by Sigmund Freud and his mentor Joseph Breuer in the joint work “Investigation of Styles” in 1895.
to human consciousness “. Further popularization of the term is the merit of Carl Gustav Jung, a colleague and follower of Freud, who carefully studied this phenomenon.
Why do complexes appear?
Most of the complexes arise in childhood under the influence of condemnation from adults, childhood mistakes, disappointments and other unpleasant events. Most often, the emergence of such unconscious attitudes occurs under the influence of negative experiences associated with strong emotions.
There are 3 main sources of complexes:
- Parents. About 90% of the complexes are formed thanks to the parents. The child is sensitive to things that adults consider normal or irrelevant. Rudeness in communication, dependence, demonstration of strength, emotional and physical violence in the family shock children and form complexes of victims and tormentors in them. A child, realizing his own powerlessness, accumulates pain and aggression, gradually displacing bad memories into the unconscious part of his psyche.
- Relatives. Other family members also make a significant contribution to the development of complexes in the child. Children are very sensitive to praise and judgment from adults. And any casually thrown phrase can form a complex, which will be very difficult to get rid of.
- Society . At the age of 12-14, the place occupied by him among friends is of particular importance for a teenager. He needs respect, tries to be bright and noticeable. If he is faced with bullying and other manifestations of teenage aggression, difficult to eradicate complexes are formed in him. And even adults need constant self-affirmation, and inappropriate jokes (for example, about a figure or a not very prestigious job) can form new complexes in them.
How to get rid of complexes: 10 ways
Since we cannot consciously control our own complexes, we cannot simply order not to worry about something. However, by giving yourself the correct attitudes, you can gradually rebuild your psyche and get rid of unnecessary reasons for worrying forever. And 10 simple tricks will help with this. The main thing is to take each of them very seriously.
1. Find out the reason
Complexes arise for a reason, but under the influence of specific events – one-time or lasting. Having identified what exactly makes you feel insecure, think about how relevant the problem is, whether it is worth worrying about and how to solve it.
2. Solve or begin to solve the problem
Solving the problem is the most important step on the way to getting rid of complexes. For example, if an imperfect figure is the main cause of anxiety, you can reconsider your own diet and start jogging in the morning (or evenings). Each person is able to become a little better in any area that is important to him. Consider how you can improve your appearance, improve your health, or increase your productivity. In the fight against complexes, even a small detail that increases self-esteem can play a significant role.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others
School teachers and parents instill this habit in us by comparing us to more diligent classmates and other peers. But how can an adult get rid of complexes if there will always be more successful people? To do this, you need to get rid of this habit. Stop comparing yourself to anyone and do not let your loved ones do it.
4. Don’t be afraid to change
As noted above, everyone can get a little better. The main thing is not to be afraid of change if it really matters to you. Have you dreamed of changing your hairstyle for a long time? Take action! Revise your style, update your wardrobe. Get rid of the habit of being late and missing project deadlines, stop using swear words, and work on your manners. There are many directions in which each person is able to change, becoming noticeably better in their own eyes and in the eyes of others.
5. Accept your own shortcomings
Each person is endowed with certain shortcomings, so there is no point in striving for the ideal. Look at those around you: they live, work, have families and raise children, despite their imperfect appearance, overweight, or too high bald patches on the edges of their foreheads. Each of us has a lot of similar flaws that make us imperfect. But some people live calmly with this, while others worry about every little thing. Just stop thinking about your own failures and shortcomings as significant, and focus on the really important things.
6. Learn to ignore the opinions of ill-wishers
Many people like to judge and criticize others (by the way, they are forced to do this by their own complexes). Listen less to such criticism. Pay attention to whether the person wants to help you correct a mistake or is simply condemning your shortcomings. And if the second statement is true, just ignore his opinion.
7. Love life and people
A positive perception of the surrounding reality is a powerful weapon in the fight against complexes. Smile, enjoy every day, be polite and courteous with good people, and try to distance from yourself as much as possible those who cause negative emotions. It is also advisable to learn not to respond with aggression to aggression. Behave with dignity and do not succumb to provocations.
8. Learn to say “No!”
However, the ability to refuse is a critical skill that can greatly increase your self-esteem. Don’t make excuses, don’t allow yourself to feel guilty. Just politely refuse whenever there is no desire to agree.
9. Learn to forgive yourself for mistakes
There are no people in the world who they never stumbled, did not deceive or let anyone down, did not make mistakes with their choice and did not commit other actions, which they later regretted. If you are worried about a mistake made in the past, take it as a valuable experience and promise yourself that it will not happen again.
10. Become kinder
Evolution has laid down in us many different models of behavior in relation to others. In particular, we perceive outsiders as competitors with whom we compete for resources. But now times are different, and there is no shortage of resources. And this is a great reason to be kinder and more generous to other people, both close ones and completely strangers.
Do I need to get rid of complexes?
The presence of complexes – this is a normal state of the human psyche. They can be positive and help you by adding confidence. Negative complexes can also be beneficial, spurring you on and adding motivation.
But if you feel that they are pressing on you, holding you down and interfering with being productive, then you should definitely remember or write down 10 tips about how to get rid of the complexes described above. Even if you cannot completely get rid of them, you can significantly weaken their influence on yourself and improve the quality of your own life.
Conclusion
Complexes are common phenomenon. They are common to all people, but at the same time they are individual for each of us. Therefore, there is no universal secret that allows anyone to get rid of complexes. And yet there is an opportunity to significantly reduce their impact on your own life, becoming a more self-confident and successful person. Just practice the tips from this article regularly, and the result will not be long in coming!
