If you are now thinking about how to increase your self-esteem, then you are the creator of your own life. Having realized the problem, you did not put up with it and did not postpone it “for later”, but now look for ways to solve it and are ready to work hard. I am proud of you.
Your attitude, as well as our carefully collected self-esteem tips in this article, will help solve this problem once and for all. Only I ask you not just to read the article, but apply in practice at least some of the recommendations available here, and you can very quickly feel positive changes in terms of self-esteem. Are you ready? Then let’s start in order.
What is self-esteem?
Usually this term is called a person’s general perception of their own abilities, capabilities and personal qualities. It does not always coincide exactly with the real possibilities, but it often becomes the main factor of success in life. Therefore, any person experiencing problems with self-esteem should work on so that it should be properly
Self-assessment has several important functions, the main ones of which are:
- protection – internal autonomy, the ability to form your own opinion and not succumb to the influence of someone else;
- regulation – the ability to make informed personal choices;
- development – striving for self-improvement.
- It is important to understand that low self-esteem is formed in a person not only because of real shortcomings. It is influenced by the opinion of others (from close relatives to colleagues and comrades). If it is underestimated, a person spends an excess amount of energy on doubts, does not undertake ambitious projects, does not believe in himself. If it is too high, there is a risk of making mistakes, since excessive self-confidence makes a person lose caution. To understand how to increase self-esteem, you need to understand how it is formed, and what factors affect it. How self-esteem is formed The ability to adequately assess one’s own strengths and weaknesses is formed in a person from childhood. Excessive demands and severity of parents or neglect of friends can have long-lasting consequences. As a result, a person grows up, gets an education, gets a job and starts a family, and the need to constantly prove something to others remains with him and negatively affects the quality of life. Friends and loved ones also continuously influence self-esteem – a dear person can instantly increase or decrease it. Self-criticism is especially painful, as it inevitably reduces self-confidence (both in the short term and in the long term). In addition, we ourselves often become a source of uncertainty. By focusing on failure, we come to disappointing conclusions and engage in self-criticism, reducing our own initiative. An equally frequent source of low self-esteem is negative childhood experiences or a consequence of psychological problems Initially, it is formed due to certain features of upbringing and norms of behavior imposed on the child by the parents. In the future, the perception of their own attractiveness, sporting success and various abilities is added. All the events that take place, forcing a person to rethink his own value, affect his self-esteem. And from a certain point, she begins to play a decisive role in life, forcing a person to give up ambitions. To overcome this vicious circle, you need to actively work to increase your self-esteem. Continue. How to determine that self-esteem is low? Usually, the following character traits indicate the need to work on improving self-esteem:
- excessive self-criticism with harmless mistakes;
- fear of mistakes and constant worries about little things;
- increased susceptibility to other people’s opinions about themselves;
- unreasonable jealousy due to self-doubt;
- envy of successful people;
- constant search for excuses;
- pessimism and negative perception of events.
Even one of these character traits indicates a noticeable lack of self-confidence. If you have found several items from this list, you urgently need to improve self-esteem by all available means.
Why does self-esteem decrease?
Before we start working on improving self-esteem, let’s look at the main reasons that provoke its decrease. As they say, forewarned is forearmed. What are these factors?
One of the main reasons for the decline in self-esteem in modern life is the tendency to “self-digging”. A person constantly analyzes his failures, compares himself with other people. He chooses smart, successful and attractive people as role models. And comparing himself to them, he begins to consider himself a failure. Of course, comparing yourself to your more successful peers can help some people and increase their productivity. But for most, it turns into a a strong blow to self-esteem.
For girls and women, the most important factor that can lower or increase self-esteem is appearance. The situation has become especially aggravated in our time. If yesterday beautiful, almost perfect faces looked at us only from glossy pages, today they are in every profile of the social network. This has a negative effect on many girls. And even the opportunity to publish your own photo, “photographed” to the ideal, does not correct this situation.
There is another factor that was practically each. It is the experience of failure. When faced with severe failure, the person becomes obsessed with the situation. He replays the unpleasant event in his mind over and over again, figuring out what to do to avoid failure. Do you know this feeling? Literally stuck in the past, a person loses control over the present and the future.
There are other factors as well. For example, communication with people who want to improve their own self-esteem at the expense of others. Perfectionism is also a bad helper, which inevitably increases the fear of failure. We have listed the most noticeable reasons, in fact, there are many more, but we will not waste time. Moving on to the main part of our article.
Simple ways to improve self-esteem
As mentioned earlier, self-esteem can and should be influenced. Of course, you have to work hard, but believe me – the result is worth it. Harmonious self-esteem makes a person more confident, positive, and most importantly, happy. Are you ready to work on your self-esteem? Then let’s get started. Here’s our plan:
Find the root of the problem
Low self-esteem is not inherent in us genetically – it develops under the influence of external factors. To understand how to increase it, you need to figure out what caused the problem. For example, if problems with self-perception are associated with being overweight, you need to remember when the disturbing thoughts associated with this first arose. Perhaps one of your friends joked on this topic, and it was unpleasant for you? In any case, all further work will be much more effective when you are clearly aware of the reason for low self-esteem, and the moment when you lost confidence in yourself.
Get rid of self-criticism
All people make mistakes, and you don’t have to reproach yourself for every failure. Getting rid of self-criticism will give you several benefits in life at once:
- The energy that was previously spent on self-flagellation will be released;
- You will learn to accept yourself and be able to focus on achieving goals;
- The strengths of your personality will manifest and come to the fore.
Learning to be creative about failure without self-flagellation can help you capitalize on it. This will be a valuable experience, and in some cases you can even turn the mistake to your advantage.
What is needed for this? Firstly, no matter how bad the situation is, remember – it could have been much worse. And everything turned out not in the worst way only thanks to your efforts and experience. Also, think about how many people in your place would not be able to learn a valuable lesson from this situation, because they are not strong enough in character, but you can. Do it, and imbued with a sense of self-respect for yourself, because failure will no longer break you, but only make you stronger.
In addition to self-criticism, it is important to be able to firmly respond to criticism of others. We have already covered this important topic in detail a little earlier, so we move on.
Learn to perceive failure as an important experience
As we said, failure can hit self-esteem hard. But let’s agree once and for all: every painful mistake is a valuable life lesson. Analyze it. Be sure to think about what to do to avoid similar mistakes in the future, how you can use the experience gained and what advantages you can get.
Try to look at yourself from the outside, how you would look at a dear person in a similar situation. You would hardly condemn him, would you? So you shouldn’t blame yourself either.
Keep a success diary
Success Diary is a must-have tool for anyone looking to improve their self-esteem. Having lost faith in himself, a person automatically begins to attach maximum importance to his own mistakes, ignoring successes and praise. It’s time to reverse this trend. Start writing down your own accomplishments, praise from others, and deeds that you yourself enjoy. Read more about how to keep a success diary here.
Praise yourself often
Self-criticism and self-examination are bad habits. So why not supplant them with a useful habit – the ability to praise yourself for small victories? Just notice your every success and analyze which character trait helped to achieve it. This method will help not only increase self-esteem, but also develop useful abilities that make you more successful.
But this is not a banal praise, in the spirit of “you are great.” For this to have an effect, you need to try to regularly analyze your actions. For example, let’s say you set out to start getting up a little earlier each day. And so, the next day you did it. Think that thousands of people on this planet for years cannot train themselves to get up earlier, but you were able to do it in one day … Yes, you are a hero, you can be proud of yourself! Make it a habit to analyze your achievements regularly in this way – think about how strong you really are and how much you can do.
Learn to say “NO!” Learn to refuse people who put their interests ahead of yours. By becoming firm and answering “No!” to unwanted suggestions, you will automatically increase your own self-esteem. You will begin to respect yourself more, realize that you know how to defend your boundaries, and this is the foundation of a harmonious personality.
Create a positive environment
Avoiding negative people is recommended for a reason. They notice every unpleasant little thing and remind of it. Try to surround yourself with positive people who prefer to notice the good. Of course, it is not always possible to follow this advice, since a close relative may turn out to be a “negativist”. If this is the case, remind him regularly that you do not want negativity in the communication. Let him learn to control himself. Do not be afraid to tell people what they may not like to hear, be afraid to keep silent about such things.
Go in for sports
You don’t have to exhaust yourself with training in the gym. A daily 20-minute jog or an hour’s walk will noticeably increase your tone and improve your mood. Don’t be afraid to waste time on sports. Anyone who is fond of regular jogging or other workouts will quickly notice that they have even more free time. The secret is that sports give a powerful boost of energy, helping to do everything faster.
Get out of the “comfort zone “
Under the pressure of problems, a person becomes dependent on his own weaknesses, which give him a feeling of comfort. Sweets, pastries, TV shows, games, alcohol and other ways of self-consolation help to escape from problems for a short time into a cozy inner world. But the problems at this time are not solved, but only accumulate. Subconsciously, a person realizes that he has hidden from reality, so his self-esteem inevitably decreases. And there is only one way to quickly and effectively increase it – to get out of the “comfort zone” and start actively solving the accumulated problems.
Start using affirmations … These are small statements containing positive attitudes like “I’m strong enough to get everything I want!” You can find them in text or audio recording. Read them aloud, memorize them, listen to them while you run. These attitudes are remembered, and gradually you will begin to remember them in any life. situation when it is needed.
What will work on self-esteem give?
Well, my friends, I hope you have already started take into practice the knowledge gained, or you will definitely try to do it in the near future. So that you definitely succeed in increasing self-esteem, let’s consolidate your motivation, and consider what qualities a person with positive self-esteem has:
- confident in my own abilities;
- knows and uses his strengths;
- knows his weaknesses and accepts them;
- does not look for excuses for their actions;
- does not need the approval of others;
- immune to criticism;
- does not judge people by their appearance;
- does not experience unnecessary anxiety or stress, because he is confident in himself. This is just an incomplete list of what qualities a person has who has worked to improve self-esteem. In my opinion, it’s worth it to grow and develop in this direction, do you agree? Conclusion My friends, of course There is no one-size-fits-all recipe for self-esteem. But after carefully studying the recommendations of this article, you will surely find a technique that will be effective for you. Believe in yourself as much as I believe in you. Everything will work out!