How to become more outgoing: 14 easy steps

Greetings, friends!

The more high technologies and social networks penetrate into our lives, the more people begin to wonder how to become more sociable? In modern society, where the ability to make acquaintances and keep in touch with people is one of the most important skills, it is sometimes difficult for people who experience communication problems.

However, this problem can be solved, and today we together with you will go through 2 important stages that will help you become more sociable. Of course, you have to try a little. But do you remember: without difficulty – you can’t even get a fish out of the pond? Let’s start in order, and first, let’s figure out what it actually means: to be sociable?

What does it mean to be sociable?

  • Be able to make contacts with people. This is one of the main skills that greatly expands opportunities in life, work, and study. We are talking about the ability to “hook” people in the process of life, with whom it may be simply interesting to communicate in the future, or maybe this connection will be useful in some way in the future.
  • Be interesting to the interlocutor. Obviously, you cannot become more sociable if people are not interested in listening to what you are talking about. It is important to be able to evoke emotions, interest, help a person learn something new.
  • Ability to keep up a conversation on any topic. The importance of this skill lies in the fact that all people have different interests, professions, and hobbies. Of course, if you just nod to the interlocutor, he is unlikely to be interested. For this skill you need to develop and learn new things.
  • Expand your social circle. It is even difficult to imagine how to become more sociable if only a neighbor on the staircase is included in the social circle. This is no good. But to increase the number of acquaintances ad infinitum is also useless. It is important to strive to find the optimal number of people who will be included in the social circle.
  • Be able to maintain friendly relations. It is good, of course, to be able to make acquaintances. But what is the use of this if these acquaintances end after the first meeting? If the person turned out to be interesting, then it will be great to be able to continue friendly communication with him.
  • Do not be afraid of communicating with strangers. It’s not about being able to talk to anyone you meet on the street. This skill is of little value. But not to be afraid to talk to a person who can help in something (for example, a sales assistant) – this is already important, and you need to work on this.
  • Ability to listen to the interlocutor. This is not easy for many. However, in an effort to become more sociable, this skill is simply necessary to master. The inability of a person to listen in general can completely discourage another from any desire to communicate with such a person.

Well, friends, we figured it out. To make things easier, let’s take a quick look at why some people have communication problems.

Where do communication problems come from?

Communication skills are formed in a person throughout life, and there are several main factors that are of decisive importance. Let’s consider the most important ones.

  1. Features of education. Each family has its own ideals, and often parents deliberately instill in a child traits that do not contribute to great success in life. They are proud that their child grows up modest and non-conflict , learns well, obeys parents and teachers. Alas, such features of upbringing create certain difficulties for a person in adult life.

In addition, the child’s social behavior model is fully formed on the basis of the parental example. If the family leads a relatively secluded life and rarely invites guests, the child simply will not learn to communicate, and in the future will experience certain difficulties because of this.

  1. Negative communication experience . Children are very sociable and often face negative reactions to this. Parents ask them to be quieter, peers start joking, teachers at school shut their mouths. The consequences of such an experience are quite obvious.
  2. Lack of erudition . If a person has few topics of conversation available, it will be difficult for him to become more sociable. Therefore, it is important to constantly improve your erudition, read a lot, be interested in current events and news.
  3. Character traits . There are several types of character, and the level of sociability is one of their main differences. So, phlegmatic people are usually less talkative than choleric people. But if we talk specifically about sociability, it is more convenient to divide into introverts and extroverts. For close friends, introverts are usually open and interesting conversationalists, but communication with unfamiliar people is not easy for them. If you are an introvert, then your difficulties with communication are understandable, but completely solvable. For more information on who an introvert is, read a separate article.
  4. Self-doubt . A similar problem interferes with self-realization in all areas of life. It’s hard for an insecure person to find a job, make friends, and build a romantic relationship. If this factor is present, you should start with increasing self-esteem, otherwise the rest of the efforts may be ineffective.

Well, friends, we figured out the basics, now we turn to the main part.

Becoming more sociable is easy

First of all, you need to understand that sociability is a skill , not a personality trait. And valuable skills need to be developed. It is available to any person, the main thing is to continuously improve in the chosen direction. The whole process will consist of two stages: the development of communication skills (i.e. the ability to communicate with people) and the expansion of the circle of communication. Without further ado, let’s move on to the first stage.

Stage 1. Development of communication skills

First of all, it is necessary to start developing communication skills and building self-confidence. What do you need to do for this?

Smile and don’t be afraid to joke

If this article had to be reduced to one single piece of advice – it would be it. Oh, how pleasant the interlocutors are who can make a great joke and make you smile – be they colleagues at work, friends, or even just casual acquaintances. This rule is work everywhere, without exception – make the person smile , and he will treat you much better.

Now an important point: if it seems to you that you do not know how to joke at all, then believe me, it will come with time, you just have to start. The main thing is that you understand that a sense of humor is the strongest weapon for creating an easy and trusting environment. Over time, you will notice that there are reasons for jokes always and everywhere, you just need to try to notice them, and not miss them! Separately, it should be said that making other people smile or laugh is a great way to increase self-esteem and create a great mood.

Most importantly, remember 2 simple rules: do not joke with people, and joke with yourself very carefully. Otherwise, there is a reason for a joke everywhere – in studies, work, in the events around, and even in problems.


How long has it been since the last time you paid attention to positive changes in the people around you? If for a long time, then urgently fix it. A compliment is not only a great way to give those around you positive emotions, but also a good reason to start a conversation with a pleasant note.

Most importantly, remember: a compliment should emphasize something that the person has tried to achieve. For example, I lost weight, made a beautiful hairdo, bought a successful suit. In addition, the compliment should be sincere, which means you should like this change. And one more thing: the compliment should be as light and simple as possible , for example: “Hello! Nice dress! (remember to smile). Sometimes, this is enough to create a great mood for a person for the whole day.

Show interest

There is nothing difficult to ask a colleague: “How did you get to work today?” or “How was your weekend?” Of course, the interest must be sincere. After allowing the other person to speak out, ask a small clarifying question, showing interest. You will notice how pleasant it is for him , and you will gain invaluable communication experience.

By the way, many consider the question: “How are you?” banal, and try to avoid it. However, it all depends on the message with which this question is asked. If the interest is sincere, then even this simple question will be absolutely pertinent.

Learn to listen

Most people in communication strive to convey their own thoughts. Not everyone is able to listen and hear the interlocutor. However, if you really want to become more sociable, learn not to interrupt, listen to the phrase and think it over before answering. And never think of loved ones as those who must be burdened with all their problems.

Use body language

Facial expressions, the position of the arms and legs, the direction and movement of the gaze – all this our interlocutor unwittingly notices. Non-verbal signals can tell a lot, even to a person who has never been interested in them. For example, constantly glancing at your phone can make the other person think that you are bored.

Smile often and learn to move correctly to show friendliness. Your lack of self-confidence may be holding you back from becoming more sociable Getting into a comfortable, open position can help you overcome your fear and doubt, so don’t stop experimenting with body language. In parallel, you will master another important skill – learn to read the mood of the interlocutor by his facial expressions and movements. And one more thing: do not cross your arms while talking – this position is closed and repulsive.

Become an interesting conversationalist

People with a good sense of humor, easily supporting conversations on any topic, are appreciated in any company. You don’t have to be a highly educated intellectual to be a good conversationalist. It is enough to lead an active life , regularly read popular books, watch new cinema releases, take an interest in current events. If possible, then also travel.

Refer by name

Do you remember the names of all your work colleagues? If not, then it’s time to learn and start addressing people by name. As Dale Carnegie said, most of all people love to hear the sound of their name. So give them this chance, and believe me, your relationships with people will start to improve. Start mentioning the name even then. when you just say hello.

Well, dear reader, we are finished with the first part. If you follow these seemingly simple tips, then your communication skill will increase many times over. And we are moving on to the second stage.

Stage 2. Expanding the circle of communication

As strange as it sounds, to become more sociable, you need to communicate more. There are a few simple tricks that can be taken in this direction.

Change routine habits

Go to other stores, get to work with new routes, dine in different cafes. Even during working hours, going to the toilet, you can go up to another floor or go to the opposite end of the corridor. Every day you will see new faces, and this is a great opportunity for dating and communication.

Use social media

Many people underestimate social networks, not knowing how often virtual communication leads to very promising real acquaintances. The main thing is not to hesitate to invite people to meetings, you can even offer to meet with a small company (if it is a group related to common interests).

Do not skimp on words

We often restrict ourselves to a simple “Please!” When we helped a colleague, or “Thank you!” When we received help. But it’s much better to say “Please! I’m sure you would help me too! ” or “Thank you! And you should contact me if you need help! ” Phrases like these break down barriers and bring people closer together.

Combine business with pleasure

An interesting and exciting activity may well serve as a catalyst for new friendships. You can sign up for courses or trainings where there will be people with the same interests. Joint activities are a great excuse to get to know each other and start communicating. There are also special interest clubs where anyone can join, for example, there is a club for fans of playing “Mafia” in almost every city.

Invite and accept invitations

Like in the movie Always Say Yes! Do not refuse invitations when someone calls you somewhere, and try to also invite someone yourself. This is a great way to become more social without making yourself uncomfortable. You yourself can choose the way of spending your time. At best, it will be a pleasant date or friendly conversation, at worst – just a valuable experience in communication.

Don’t be afraid to hear “No”

We are so arranged that every “No!” burns us. Therefore, adults experience a panic fear of rejection and miss out on many opportunities in life. But you don’t have to be afraid of the word no. Begin to break habitual patterns of behavior. When you see a cute stranger (or stranger) at a bus stop, feel free to speak up. Even if the acquaintance does not work out, you will not lose anything, but only gain valuable experience.

Finally, let’s discuss such a simple yet complex question:

How to conduct a conversation correctly?

Remember that speaking and speaking are completely different genres. Always let the interlocutor speak out, but do not be silent yourself. Feel free to talk about yourself, but don’t rush to share too personal information. You can talk about your interests, your leisure time, a trip to the sea, interesting events that have taken place recently.

When asking your interlocutor questions, show interest in his personality, but also do not rush to ask about too personal. Rapprochement always takes place very slowly, two people go to this in small steps, gradually revealing certain details from their own lives. If you hurry with this, you can instantly destroy the fragile trust that has not yet had time to form.

It is recommended to use open-ended questions so that the interlocutor can answer, adding any detail to the story. By asking a closed question, you force him to give monosyllabic answers, even if he is in the mood for lively and interesting communication. To become more outgoing, you need to understand that people are very fond of talking about themselves, and they are guaranteed to like you by showing a genuine interest in their person.

One of the most effective ways to develop your communication skills in a short time and learn to understand the hidden emotions of others is to study with a qualified specialist. 

The online intensive “Effective Communication” will teach you:

  • Manage your emotions and control your impulses;
  • Overcome difficult emotional situations;
  • Understand the feelings and thoughts of the interlocutor on a deeper level;
  • Communicate more effectively with your surroundings;
  • Manage conflicts;
  • Build harmonious relationships.

Online intensive “Effective Communication” will be especially useful:

  1. Entrepreneurs, executives, top managers.
  2. For those who work with clients, middle managers, freelancers.
  3. Anyone who is involved in raising children.
  4. Anyone who wants to improve their communication with others.

The training consists of 4 blocks:

  1. Emotions. The basics.
  2. Emotional resilience and emotional flexibility.
  3. Social efficiency.
  4. Building harmonious relationships.

How is the training going:

  1. Watch video lectures
  2. Perform independent tasks to consolidate the material
  3. Participate in webinars and discuss difficult points
  4. Take the test on the studied material
  5. Complete the intensive course and receive a certificate

If you decide within 7 days that the course is not suitable for you, you will be refunded.


All areas of our life depend on the ability to communicate with other people. Without this valuable skill, it is extremely difficult to build a successful career, make good friends, build a romantic relationship, and create a happy family. Therefore, any person who wants to achieve success and improve the quality of his own life must continuously work on himself in this direction. Good communication skills help to achieve any goals, along the way making new friends and just useful acquaintances.

Thank you for your attention! I am sure you will succeed!